she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
