Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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