it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
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