he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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