i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
