Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize