no, he came in my armpit
i will never coherently bang her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
