apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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