So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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