Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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