if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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