Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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