omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
