remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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