He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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