It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
