my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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