i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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