remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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