Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
