she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
