That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize