If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
