Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
