Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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