You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
