Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
