ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
