did you get engaged???
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
