Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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