I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
