your parents love me but you hate me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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