There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
