My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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