I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
