So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
