At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
