Already got asked if we're dating
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
