i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
