i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
whose ass print is on the piano?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
