Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
