So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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