There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You need a sexual gate keeper
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
