Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
