Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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