So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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