he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
