On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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