You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want to fling myself into the sun
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
