So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
