No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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