Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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