Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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