spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
