I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
