and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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