i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
