I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Text me some of your sweat
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
