shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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