STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
