I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
