I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
