Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
