I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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