Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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