I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
